I know what you are thinking. No, I do not want to hear any Polish girl jokes. Okay, on a second thought, if you have a really good one, go ahead, get it out of your chest.

With that out of the way, let’s turn our attention to French women. Recently, there has been a reappearance of news stories and books trying to explain why French women do not get fat. They do, they are just too French to parade it in spandex as some of us do. Seriously, the patisseries are firmly implanted on almost every corner of a French city, and they are packed with a mouth-watering display of culinary goodness.

Yet, as if mocking the laws of nutrition, you would be hard-pressed to find any meaningful number of “gravitationally challenged� French women. And do not get me started on absolutely delicious, lard seared foie gras, a variety of dishes cooked with butter and cream, baguettes (no, not Playboy lingerie model Alley Baggett), and world famous chocolates.

Even when it comes to news anchors, French, seem to know exactly what to do to get your attention. Look at that picture of Melissa Theuriau, as French say, Sacre Bleu (Oh My God!) Who is not going to tune in to her news reports? But enough of French women already, there is got to be some “smoking� hot females in other countries.

For example, in Poland, girls do not go on fancy diets. They also do not get nearly as much attention from western media as French women do. Yet they seem to know the “secret� to staying fit and healthy. They follow what I would call a no-diet, diet. How do they do it? Here is a short summary.

- Four to five small meals a day
- Lots of fresh vegetables
- Fast food, snacking, frozen meals is not common
- Breakfast, usually a protein and vegetables sandwich with coffee

“Second breakfast� is an equivalent of our lunch, but they have it about 11 am. They prefer homemade meals to fast food, so their second breakfast comes freshly made from home. The second breakfast consists of a couple of sandwiches, two servings of fruit and yogurt. No soda, no chips, none of that stuff. They blame “no junk food effect� on communism, but at the same time, citing western obesity epidemic, they seem to be happy that they did not have an opportunity to get into it.

Kids usually snack on sunflower and pumpkin seeds. They like all variety of fruit, such as plums, apples, berries (all kinds), cherries and pears. To Coca Cola’s horror Polish teenagers do not choose Coke, they do not give any love to Pepsi either; rather, they prefer yogurt and fruit smoothies.

We all know that commies are good for nothing, but somehow they managed to put together a nutritionally sound program for their schools. They get a wide variety of salads, freshly made soups, chicken and potatoes. It is pretty close to a diet a bodybuilder would follow. I know what they are doing; they are secretly building an army of bodybuilders to take away our soda and chips.

The tradition of homemade, family dinner is still strong in Poland. The weekend menu is more elaborate; hence, more calories are consumed, but walking comes to rescue.

It appears that Polish women are not in a hurry to delight us with their permanent presence in United States. According to some researchers, those that live in US have a chance to triple their chance of getting a breast cancer. Raw cabbage, a staple of Polish diet, contains two enzymes that protect against cancer.