Stanley Goldklang, Ph.D, a spokesperson for the New York State Psychological Association, suggests that parents share their concern with the teen when they notice a change in their behavior.

He says the “trick” is for the parent to convey concern and a wish to understand and help, rather than rushing to judgment and action, especially punishment.

If doing so falls short for some reason, then seeking professional help is in order, whether it’s with a school counselor, or another professional away from the school campus. Even if the teen objects initially, she will usually understand that parents at that point are doing what they feel is in her best interest.

Warning signs that your teen is going through a stressful period:

• Changes in sleep patterns; taking longer to fall asleep; waking up tired and not well rested
• Changes in eating patterns
• More frequent headaches than normal
• Shorter temper than is normal
• Recurring colds and minor illness
• Frequent muscle ache and/or tightness
• More disorganized than normal
• Increased difficulty in task completion
• A greater sense of persistent time pressure
• Increased generalized frustration and anger
• Drug or alcohol use
• Hurting or cutting themselves
• Personality change

Goldklang says that when there is self-destructive behavior, especially cutting, or engaging in drug or alcohol use beyond casual experimentation, these issues should be addressed as soon as it’s noticed. [source: BA Parent]