I don’t care what anyone says, I think Paula Abdul is kewl and brave. She is not afraid to discuss her depression, suffering from an eating disorder and experimenting with Botox injections.

Okay, yes, she does seem loopy at times, but unlike other celebrities, she has a legitimate excuse for it.

In a recent interview with OK! magazine, she responded to perpetual claims of her being constantly drunk and or on drugs, and she also talked about dealing with bulimia, depression and whether or not she has had plastic surgery.

How do you respond to claims that your behavior during the show is sometimes bizarre? I’m sick of it. I’ve never been drunk. I don’t do recreational drugs. It’s defamation of character.

What’s the real story? If I appear exhausted on television, it’s because I am! I have a lot of sleepless nights because I’m in so much pain. I was taking far more medication on earlier seasons, and nobody said anything.

I try to say something and I stumble, and that’s what people have picked up on. I’m not polished.

Are you still affected by an eating disorder? I can’t say that I’m free of those feelings. But I don’t vomit, I don’t purge, I don’t over-exercise. I’m in a really good place, having had many years [in recovery]. I refuse to entertain something that will lead to the anorexic behavior that I used to have.

Do you worry about the pressure on young female stars today? With Lindsay [Lohan] and Nicole [Richie], I don’t know what is going to help them slow down – hopefully it’s not something that’s going to end in tragedy.

I worry about Britney [Spears]. Sometimes it takes a wake-up call to stop. Not to be mommy-like, but I worry. I really care about these girls.

Do you suffer from depression? I’ve survived a number of crises, and with it comes depression. I have really good therapists. I’m not afraid to ask for help. I need help. I’ve been through some major s*** where depression could have been a disease for me and led me to not even be here.

Have you ever thought of taking your own life? No. But I know people who have. You feel really bad that you couldn’t have done something more for them.

Have you ever had plastic surgery? Nothing. Check behind my ears! I haven’t had one ounce of work done, contrary to what every plastic surgeon may believe.

What about Botox? I’ve had it. I had it done for the first time six weeks ago in my forehead and it only worked for about two weeks. It hurt like hell.

Talk about some of the procedures you have tried over the years to help with the pain. I have had Botox injections in my neck to numb the nerves but it didn’t really work. I had three injections in eight years. I inject myself with a shot of Humira every two weeks, which is very helpful.

I also use Enbrel [which, like Humira, can be used to treat rheumatoid arthritis], Relafen [an anti-inflamatory drug] and the painkiller lidocaine. Two or three times a week I have a specialist massage to calm the nervous system. I see an acupuncture specialist who deals in head and spinal-cord trauma.

A lot of people don’t know you survived a plane crash in 1993. The engine blew up on the private jet I was on. The right wing caught fire, I broke through the seatbelt and hit my head. We came down in a cornfield in Iowa. I quit my career.

For the next six years I spent 75 percent of my time in the hospital. I was also hit by a drunk driver on the freeway after an L.A. Lakers game in 1987, which is when I started getting severe neck pains.

You were diagnosed with RSD (reflex sympathetic dystrophy) which has no known cure. I have four titanium plates in my neck. I’ve had 14 surgeries over the years. I had an operation the same evening as the first season finale of American Idol.

It can come and go at any time, but I no longer have the intense nerve pain that is associated with RSD, thank God. [via]